I attended my first wedding yesterday as a member of a wedding party. My job was cupcake delivery man/usher/door opener and holder-opener/reception candle lighter. I trained for many months, practicing my menacing "Excuse me sir/ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave - you're making a scene." I proposed tuxedo t-shirts for the ceremony, but my idea was quickly shot down for some reason. Come on, tuxedo t-shirts - they put the "ass" in "class".
The ceremony was great. It wasn't big, long-winded, and stuffy. Both the bride and groom were cool as cucumbers. I was more stressed out than they were, as I was afraid that the cupcakes wouldn't last the 4 km drive from the store to the hotel where the reception would take place. 4 kilometres may not seem like a long distance, but this is through downtown Toronto traffic. It took me the better part of an hour to drive that short distance, so I was a little worried about the state of the cupcakes.
The reception was a lot of fun. We had a real-life wedding crasher but unfortunately it was neither Vince Vaughn nor Owen Wilson. I wanted to put my "menacing" training to the test and ask the man to leave, but I decided to leave that to the hotel professionals.
Oh, and I've also decided that along with developing a "steppin' out" version of track pants, I'm also going to create a "steppin' out" running shoe because I think we can have a shoe that is both dressy and comfortable. You hear that, all you dress shoe manufacturing sadists...you're reign of terror will soon come to an end!
3 comments:
Keep me on speed-dial for the launch of the 'steppin' out' line of trainers hits the pavement, so to speak.
No matter what M may write or say, I will NEVER wear 'Crocs' while not gardening. And since I live in an apartment, even that's pretty unlikely.
I meant:
Keep me on speed-dial for when the line of 'steppin' out' trainers hits the pavement.
K-O, I will let you know when the shoes drop.
Speaking of Crocs, this is one of my favourite posts from GFY.
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